the crying game

There are two kinds of people in the world. The ones who cry and the ones who throw up. Seriously, it’s just that – weepers and throw-ups. And there’s also this between of prudes who do both. But they can wait.

Coming to think of it, people can really be differentiated under this concern universally, bypassing the prejudices involved in segregating them under the disciplines of poverty and wealth, good and evil, man and woman, intelligent and smart, and hell I can go on. I mean what’s so prejudiced about judging a man on whether he wails or retches?

“Fuck dude! Get your shit together and stop weeping like a chick!”

“Oh shut your trap! At least my tears don’t reek of my breakfast!”

Right?

 Few of you might be perplexed, given most people don’t puke when they’re sad, but half of them don’t even cry when they’re so. That’s because they’re natural vomiters. And they grow out of it. Its funny how much can be said about a person under this observation. Criers are self-centred, stoical to human suffering, narrow-minded and just plainly dramatic. Breaking down for them, is like performing their duty on the face of human despondence. Spewers, on the other hand have an innate abhorrence towards suffering which instinctively leads to their namesake action. They genuinely care. But this effect is bogged down after years of nurturing and they become people who have no emotional vents as they don’t cry. Talk about being judgemental huh?

The prudes by the way, are attention freaks and prissy pseudo-evangelists who fear even the slightest lack in emotions upon harbingers of despair, that they excessively try to make up by regurgitating. It just overwhelms them. Or they make sure it does. Hence, essentially they are just hardworking criers.

So the next time you’re near someone who throws up for reasons other than alcoholic or culinary mis-response, be in the know that you’re rubbing the back of a good man.